Little Book of Big Excuses

Nobody ever said being an adult is easy. But it's easier with "The Little Book of Big Excuses", with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you did wrong, things you didn't do, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake". Here are your excuses for not showing up any number of places for any number of reasons-grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentist appointments. And for being late for any of the above. "Excusez-Moi, Si'l Vous Plait" if where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event? Or forget your boss' spouse's name-again? Or don't want to pick up the tab? The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, But" - the art of articulating just why you can't do most any thing you don't want to do-in any language, this is the book for you.. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsytem Failure-Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make for fail-safe excuses for a myriad of "don't wanna"s and "didn't do it"s. "All's Fair in Love," excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Here's a hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in, which is what Julia Roberts did.