May I Have Your Attention Please?

So... the story of my life. I've often thought about this moment, about what it would be like to write my memoirs. I always thought it would make me feel important. It doesn't. If anything it makes me feel a little strange. The truth is, I should never have been this famous guy. I wasn't the cool, clever, good-looking boy at school. But I always dreamt of it, hoped for it, longed for it: throughout school when I was disruptive, in my teens when I tried to form my own boy band and through hundreds of auditions for parts which were met with constant rejection. Until finally I co-wrote Gavin and Stacey. And my whole life changed. This is that story. The story of how I found myself here, talking to you.