Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell: The Life of A Gay Christian Soldier

For as long as she can remember, Lt Col (Dr.) Tosha Meredith struggled with gender identity. She was never quite comfortable in her own skin. Being a victim of sexual abuse at an early age only compounded her confusion and shame. As the daughter of a loving mother and a criminal father, it was sometimes debatable as to which path her life would take. After some early missteps, Tosha found the military, which provided both the structure that saved her life and the policy that nearly destroyed it. She thrived in the army, moving up in rank, but her sometimes wild personal life and loves kept her always on the verge of devastating exposure in the era of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which encouraged Lt Col Meredith to lie about who she was. Imagine spending every waking moment pretending to be something you're not, when you're not even certain of who you really are. Through the years, the one constant was Dr. Meredith's faith, which sustained her even as many people of faith would condemn the person she was. This is the story of a woman, more comfortable as a man, and her journey to find love and acceptance in a time of lies.