Beauty and the Beefcake

There are two kinds of women in the world ? those I can bang, and those I can?t. My teammate?s sister? She?s a can?t. I moved in with her to protect her from a nasty ex, not to be the next guy in line. She?s the brains. I?m the brawn. She?s the fruit. I?m the sausage. She talks too much. I don?t talk at all, if I don?t have to. Should be easy to resist her. But every minute I spend with Felicity is another minute she gets under my skin. She makes me feel like something more than a dumb puckhead with a big Zamboni pony. And it?s getting harder to remember why I need to keep my hands to myself. Beauty and the Beefcake is a vegan-friendly standalone romantic comedy featuring a hockey player whose vocabulary is the only thing smaller than a hockey puck, a book-smart but aimless ventriloquist with too many voices in her head, a dilapidated old house that may or may not be haunted, and no cheating or cliffhangers.